November 2009

Ram I Am


Ram I Am

I do not like that weird Dodge Ram “My Tank Is Full’’ commercial. For one thing, the tank won’t stay full for long, with gas mileage of 13 mpg in the city.And I don't think that's the Ram talking. I mean, I don't see any lips moving on that grille, do you?"My name is Ram and my tank is full.'' Sheesh. What's next?“My name is Whopper and my bun is soft.’’I do not like “My Name Is Ram.’’I do not like that Ram-I-Am.I will not watch it in a bar.I will not watch it in a car.I will not watch it on a phone.I will not watch it all alone.I will not watch it with a dog.I will not watch it on a blog.But you can, by clicking here.I do not like that Ram I am.   

Posted at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

Night Lights--with the Kids!


Night Lights--with the Kids!

 About 45 years ago when my family used to take trips from Georgia to North Carolina to visit relatives, we always passed a “night golf course.’’ I can’t remember exactly where it was, but I do remember in the mid-1960s  watching the duffers with pull carts going at it, thinking, “Wow, that would just be the coolest thing. Can’t we stop?’’ "Well, Barry, we have no clubs in the car!’’ *Sigh* My dad never took me out on a night golf course. Fast forward several decades and for the last two Sunday nights, my 15-year-old son and I have set out for  the Links at 434, a Par 3 course right behind the Costco in Altamonte Springs. We get there around 6:15 and play nine holes under the lights, no...

Posted at 11:34 PM | Permalink | Comments

A Motto for Our Times


A Motto for Our Times

I couldn't get out of bed the other day to go see Colin Powell and Laura Bush at the "Get Motivated Business Seminar" at Amway Arena, so I'll just have to rely on my beloved office wall poster to provide continuing insipration.

Posted at 06:16 AM | Permalink | Comments

Facebook Ate My Brain


Facebook Ate My Brain

Barry Glenn got up this morning and put on one shoe, then the other. 10 people liked this.9 people said they did the very same thing.8 people asked which shoe I put on first.7 people recommended that I become friends with other people who wear shoes.6 people said “LOL! Working for the weekend! ROFL!’’5 people asked me to become a fan of “Shoes First.’’4 people tagged my left shoe in a photo.3 people said I should start playing “Shoeville.’’2 people linked to a New York Times story about a proposed shoe tax.1 person asked me to take the “What Kind of Shoe Are You? Quiz." Next: I’m drinking a cup of coffee.

Posted at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

Road Kill


Road Kill

I was doing some breakneck rubbernecking the other day on I-4, trying to determine the cause of an eastbound bottleneck near Lee Road. But given that I’m president of the fan club for the Department of Underachieving Highway Master Builders (DUHMB), I already knew the answer.If you drive afternoon rush hour toward Maitland, you know the routine: Just past Fairbanks Avenue, traffic clogs up because the right lane suddenly becomes an exit-only lane for Lee Road, so it’s merge hell as non-exiting drivers realize they have to get out of that lane. A few years ago, while I-4 was being widened, couldn’t an extra exit lane have been added, with the current one extended over the bridge as a through lane? Think about how many accidents or close calls have occurred. Think of how...

Posted at 07:36 PM | Permalink | Comments

About This Blog

Barry Glenn used to love to play Monopoly—until he learned that unlimited borrowing from the bank wasn’t really allowed. And doesn’t that just about sum up today’s economic climate, Mr. Moneybags? All of which is to say that this blog has nothing to do with the economy or Monopoly. “Metropoly” just sounded good. Barry, managing editor of Orlando magazine since April 2009, likes to ask himself a lot of questions while driving or watching Cops. Things like “Why did they only widen this road to three lanes when they probably had money for four?” Or “Why are pigs on barbecue signs always so jolly?” Sometimes logic doesn’t wear a seatbelt. Please join Barry as he swerves into the median and overturns.

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